Diversity - Part 4 - Integrating Differences
Integrating Differences to Create Our Desired Reality
From birth, (and possibly before), we begin programming ourselves to respond to the world based upon our day-to-day experiences. Our unique programming is based upon our natural survival instinct. The people in our lives (most commonly, parents) play a crucial role in our design of reality. The problem with this decision-making process, at such an early age, is that we lack the wisdom to distinguish between experiences which are truly threatening and those which are not. For example, if our parents’ learned response to significant differences in people was avoidance, then there is a good probability we also adopted the same behaviors. If they embraced differences, then we probably learned to embrace them also. Therefore, maturing is the life-long process of learning how to compatibly adapt to the inevitable differences we encounter. This is the essence of diversity.
There are wide-eyed little people who believe you’re always right. In their little minds you are setting an example every day in all you do for them to grow up to be just like you.
—Unknown
Books like My Mother, Myself or sayings like “The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree” are examples of this quote.
The more aware we are of how we are programmed, the easier it is to determine our experiences of others. We obviously cannot control the experiences of others, but we can certainly influence their experience of us. In addition, the more aware we are of our own inner motivations, the more appropriately we can respond out of choice rather than from a
programmed behavior learned as a child. For example, when we find ourselves confronted with significant differences in perceptions, such as the ideas of younger generations, we might first recall the quote of St. Francis of Assisi,
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Having created this “space in time” between experience and response allows us to see the world through their eyes. It allows us to stop and question our strongly held opinions by reflecting on the world we have created. Upon reflection, we may open ourselves to “see” new possibilities that didn’t previously exist. The key is to focus on the message more than the source or style of delivery.
Individuals with this level of openness are said to be “spiritually connected.” They are naturally receptive to the views of others. They recognize that one person does not have all the answers but working together we can resolve any challenge. They also have the ability to freely express the inner dimensions of themselves, such as creativity, imagination, insight, intuition, and a holistic view of the world. These individuals have learned to not only use the power of their minds but the power of something greater than themselves to create their experience of life; thereby, measurably influencing the reality they experience. Such individuals are not “special.” The truth is we all experience this state, but in vastly different proportions of time. Being this way begins with learning how to live compatibly with those we experience most.
